Last night I had the great misfortune to see 'Slither' which was supposed to be a 'Horror comedy with more laugh out loud moments than Shaun of the Dead' which I found to be incorrect. There were few scenes that I actually found amusing. The scene where one of the characters uses a shotgun to dispatch the mutated Zombies only to run out of shells could have been funny had I not read a similar joke by Warren Ellis in Nextwave earlier that day. But a scene where Nathan Fillion is attacked by a mutated Deer was quite funny. The only thing that makes me feel that I wasted 85 minutes of my life watching it, is the fact that I later realized that I'd missed Q.I. on BBC Three, which was mildly disapointing. I could always catch the repeat next Friday on BBC Two, but I'll be busy setting up tables & stealing chairs.

I thought such an occasion would be the perfect time to wear my Red MacGear Jeans/Trouser/Pants, so I took them out of the draw where they'd been lying for some time. But when I awoke this morning, I found that my cat Xandar was lying on them. So now I've got to wash them to get rid of Cat hair & risk the Red dye fading.

It's times like this when I think back to what I was doing five years ago. Not as terrifying as the time I'd erased Comic-Sans from my PC only to find it back in my Font Folder a couple of days later. Back then I was putting together some stuff for some guy, the intervening years have dimmed the memory of his name, but he was going to publish my work in his magazine. The only other thing he asked of me was some money to finance this venture. I sent it to him & in return he sent me his notice of bankruptcy. If I'd actually sent him something like a Thousand Quid, then maybe I'd be more than a little bit suspicious. But it was an insubstantial sum, which reminds me that Adam Smith still owes me £15, & the likelihood that I'll ever see that money is slim to none, the last time I saw that jammy bastard was back in 1999.

But these days the only problems that really perplex me is the fact that I don't even get to feature in my own dreams.